how many troubles you are creating for me... ~OSHO~

BELOVED OSHO,

LAST NIGHT, WHEN YOU STOOD UP TO LEAVE, YOU SALUTED WITH THE GESTURE THAT WE CALL IN GERMANY THE "HITLER" GREETING.

MAY I ASK YOU WHAT WAS YOUR IDEA IN DOING THIS? WHAT WERE YOU CONVEYING THROUGH THIS GESTURE?

Now look Niskriya, how many troubles you are creating for me! This question is from Hilmar Pabel and Inge Byhan, photographer and journalist for BUNTE. Soon you will see my photograph on the cover of BUNTE with the salute... and I hope with a negative article. I enjoy negative articles!

And Pabel, I know you are not negative. You have loved the place, you have loved my people. You will be in difficulty now. You will have to write lies. But write! If you write anything positive about me, the article will not be published.

I am just making you aware and alert: if you want your photographs and article to be published, make it as negative as possible. I love all kinds of things.

Your question may seem superficial to others -- it is not. As far as I am concerned there are many kinds of greetings. The Hindus greet with both the hands folded together. Their cunning explanation is that they are bowing down to your godliness, to the god within you.

But I call it cunning, because their saints don't do that. If you go to a Hindu saint, a Shankaracharya, you will do the Hindu gesture of greeting but he will not respond in the same way. Because of this stupid gesture I became unnecessarily an enemy of the ex- prime minister of India, Morarji Desai.

We were both invited by a Jaina acharya, Tulsi. He was sitting on a very high pedestal. For me there was no problem, because even higher than him there was sitting a cockroach. So I did not take any notice, but Morarji Desai could not manage to contain himself.

He immediately said, "This meeting" -- and there were twenty other scholars from all over India -- "is being called to discuss significant questions of life, but before we start I want to ask two questions. My first question is that when I did namaskar, the Hindu gesture, why did you not answer it in the same way?"

Because the Jaina monk or the Hindu saint cannot do that. His tradition is not permitting him to do that. He is higher than you -- how can he make a gesture similar to yours? He makes a gesture, but that gesture is of blessing. All Hindu monks, Jaina monks, Buddhist monks, they all make the gesture of blessing.

But Morarji is a very stubborn type of man. He said, "I am not your disciple and I have not come here to ask for your blessings -- why are you making this gesture?"

The gathering of those twenty scholars... and I was sitting by the side of Morarji Desai. Everybody felt that now it has become more difficult to come to any conclusion on any point; it has already become a weird situation.

And Morarji said, "Secondly, you are sitting so high, and why are we sitting so low? If you were addressing a public meeting, I could understand that you would have to sit a little higher so everybody could see you. But this is not a public meeting, this is just a small group of twenty people. Why can't we sit on the same ground? Why do you sit hung up in the sky?"

At that time Morarji Desai was finance minister of India. Acharya Tulsi had not the guts to say anything; neither had he the simple approach, to get down and sit with everybody and greet them with a namaskar. There was no need for any answer, but he remained frozen. Neither could he do namaskar -- because he is a spiritual leader -- nor could he get down, because he could not sit with ordinary people. There was a silence.

I said to Acharya Tulsi, "The question has not been asked to me, it has been asked to you, but you seem to be completely frozen. Allow me to answer."

And I told Morarji Desai that "Although you have not asked the question to me, because Acharya Tulsi seems to be completely dead, somebody has to answer. I am ready to answer -- are you ready to receive?"

For a moment he looked at me... and we recognized each other, and the whole group recognized that now there is trouble.

I said, "There are twenty people here. Everybody is better cultured and more educated than you, but nobody else has raised the question of why he is sitting higher. It simply shows that the man is stupid, and your asking this question puts you also in the same category! Let him hang anywhere he wants -- why does it hurt you? It must be hurting your ego. It is not his sitting there; it is hurting your ego that you are being reduced to the level of ordinary human beings and you are the finance minister of India.

"And secondly, you had greeted him with folded hands -- that does not mean that the other is bound to answer it in the same way. You have done your humble gesture. He is not a humble man. But your being disturbed that your humble gesture has not been answered shows simply that your gesture was not humble itself. Your expectation was that you should be taken as equal to a spiritual leader. And that spiritual leader is absolutely dead, because I am hitting him so hard and he is simply sitting there. Leave him aside and we should start the discussion. These stupid questions -- we have not gathered here..."

But there is a deep history behind these gestures. The meaning that is given to them is superficial; the real reason is different. The real reason comes out of war, self-defense. All these gestures are born out of war.

When two persons meet, if you are greeting each other with folded hands it shows two things: first that you are friendly, second that you are not hiding some dangerous weapon in your hands. The real history of it is war.

The same is the situation with shaking hands. Why don't you shake hands with the left hand? You shake hands with the right hand because the right hand is capable to hide any weapon and strike somebody. The left hand is not so capable.

This gesture Adolf Hitler used also has its roots in two things: one, you show your right hand -- that it is empty, that you are not carrying any weapon, that you are not dangerous, that you can be taken as friendly. Secondly it shows the desire that "we are going to win, we are going higher and higher towards the sky." It shows the longing and the desire to win over the world.

Churchill used to make this symbol, the "V" for victory -- "We are going to be victorious!"

All these symbols have arisen out of war, continuous war. Humanity has been fighting and fighting. In three thousand years there have been five thousand wars. It seems there is no other business for us but to war, to kill each other.

The people who have gathered here are not soldiers, are not in any way interested that there should be any violence, any destruction. They know, and I want you and your readers of BUNTE to know, that I am not a serious man. So I was just making a joke. And I have chosen Niskriya because he looks... Should I tell him to stand up again?

It is better... when I go then I will give you another chance to take the photograph -- not only of me, but of everybody else! Let the BUNTE readers also enjoy!

Pabel, you will forgive me, it is time for prayer.

Paddy has had a few drinks at lunchtime and is going home on the bus, when a woman gets on with her baby. Paddy can't believe his eyes and just keeps staring at them.

Finally he can't resist any longer, so he leans over and says, "Lady, that is about the ugliest baby I have ever seen!"

The woman freaks out and starts sobbing uncontrollably.

The conductor stops the bus and comes to see what the problem is, but the woman is too upset to speak.

"Okay, Madam," says the conductor, "I will go to that cafe across the street and bring you a nice cup of tea; that should calm you down. And while I am there, I will get a banana for your monkey."

This is especially for BUNTE...

Mervyn is prancing around by the crowded swimming pool and goes to the top diving board to make a flashy dive.



He makes a big splash, but when he surfaces, he finds that he has lost his swimsuit. He spends the next few minutes trying to locate it.

He gives up and goes to one corner of the pool to try and think how to get out of the water unobserved.

Finally he cups his hand over his prick, jumps out of the water and starts to run towards the changing room, yelling, "Mad dog! Mad dog!"

The crowd starts to scatter, and Mervyn has almost reached the changing room when a shapely blonde in a bikini stands in his way, pulls down the bottom half of her bikini, and shouts, "Let us muzzle that son-of-a-bitch!"

Okay, Maneesha?

Yes, Osho.